For those of you that fly and those that don't you might find these comments very funny. If you have flown or will fly West Jet airlines I know you can all see these things being said. I still remember them singing christmas carols and it being horrible! so here is a bit about West Jet if you don't know about them and some of the things said!
You gotta love the Canadian sense of humour. West Jet is an Airline with head office situated in Calgary, Alberta.West Jet airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here aresome real examples that have been heard or reported:
On a West Jet flight (There is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendantannounced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, finda seat and get in it!"
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On another West Jet Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew,the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitudeand will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
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On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of yourbelongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it'ssomething we'd like to have."
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"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."
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"Thank you for flying West Jet Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
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As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at the Vancouver Airport, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
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After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Ontario, aflight attendant on a West Jet flight announced, "Please take care whenopening the overhead compartments because, after a landing likethat, sure as hell everything has shifted."
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From a West Jet Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard West Jet Flight 245to Calgary. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, ifyou don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be outin public unsupervised."
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"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descendfrom the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over yourface. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with morethan one small child, pick your favorite."
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"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, butwe'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than West Jet Airlines."
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"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of anemergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
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"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flightattendants.. Please do not leave children or spouses."
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And from the pilot during his welcome message: " West Jet Airlines ispleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants inthe industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
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Heard on West Jet Airlines just after a very hard landing in Edmonton : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite abump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn'tthe airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."
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Overheard on an West Jet Airlines flight into Regina, on a particularlywindy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the FlightAttendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Regina. Please remainin your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
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Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "Weask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
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An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy whichrequired the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengersexited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
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After a real crusher of a landing in Halifax, the attendant came onwith, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screechinghalt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warningbells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your waythrough the wreckage to the terminal."
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Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thankyou folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insaneurge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of West Jet Airways."
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Heard on a West Jet Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wishto smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
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A plane was taking off from the Winnipeg Airport.. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over theintercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcometo Flight Number 293, nonstop from Winnipeg to Montreal. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth anduneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentallyspilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of mypants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"
I hope some of those make you laugh and maybe if you get a chance to ride West Jet you will have your own story to share!